Friday, February 3, 2012

Adventure Project #3 - Natural History Museum... & Pirates

"Third Time's A Charm.... Usually"

We've all seen the amazing architecture of the ever changing face that is Las Vegas Boulevard, casually referred to as "The Strip". There's the replica of the Eiffel Tower at Paris, the massive glass pyramid that is the Luxor, the columns and sculptures that make up Caesar's Palace, and of course the huge neon In-and-Out Burger sign off of I-15. Well, just a little ways up the road is a section of North Las Vegas known as "the cultural corridor" and a little gem known as the Las Vegas Natural History Museum. And boy, what a gem it is! We're all agreed in that "gem" means something is awful, right?

"See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil... What No Evil?"

After a thirty minute drive and a several mile search for an ATM, we parked the car, tripple checked that it was locked and made our way into the building. With our two for one coupon we laid down our ten bucks, received a map... and instantly began to regret our decision. The museum is divided up in to several sections... and by that I mean it is a one-story building with a long hallway and several rooms on each side of it. There's also a basement to Africa (just like in real life), but let's not get ahead of ourselves.

The first exhibit, or as experts would say, "room filled with random crap", featured taxidermied animals from... well... everywhere... Polar bears beside Foxes! Deer by Penguins! Monkeys by Thermostats...? Don't worry about them tampering around, though, their hands are full! Just look at them in the classic "See No Evi, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil"... and then try to figure out what the one on the right is doing... Oh, Monkeys.

"Welcome to Jurassic Park"

After a stop off in the Marine Exhibit where a small shark was desperately trying to get out of the open, 24" deep tank, we made our way to Dinosaur Abbey... I sort of stopped paying attention to the exhibit names. Now if you're like me, you've always wondered what it would look like if that kid from Jurassic Park was right when he said "That doesn't look very scary. Like a six foot turkey or something." Thankfully, I no longer have to wonder.

Also, if you find yourself at the museum, don't be alarmed by the screaches and squeals coming from the room; it's just the mechanical triceratops shaking his scratched and beaten head. Maybe it's out of pain for his friends like the T-Rex, who has clearly had a chunk removed from the left side of his body, or the ankylosaurus, who appears to have had all the paint on his eye scratched off. Either way, remember the grace and beauty of the giant turkey that is the Velociraptor... the delicacy of a dinosaur Thanksgiving.

And if that's not enough for you, perhaps you can appreciate the grace and beauty of Edward Cullen dear. Apparently this magnificent fanged creature lives in the mountains of eastern Washington, showing its sparkling skin in the sunlight and mesmerizing unsuspecting young women. Known Dangers: boring men to death. Hashtag TeamJacobRules Hashtag TwilightSucks Hashtag RememberWhenTheyWereCalledPoundSigns?

"Two Out of Three Ain't Bad"
After an underwelming trip to Africa which mainly consisted of creepily constructed apes and a mildy interested trip through King Tut's tomb, we ventured into the exciting world of the parking lot where Erika summed up the trip with the appropriate statement: "They can't all be winners

It's true. Maybe sometimes the adventure is the challenge of overcoming the difficulties we are facing in completing tasks that have been set out for us. But you can't always do it alone. Sometimes you need help from friends. Sometimes you need help from trained professionals. And sometimes, yes, you need help from pirates.

So, after the trip the Museum, we decided to answer the call of "The Sirens of TI (Treasure Island)". Now that says adventure all over it! Back when Vegas was trying to be a family place, the swashbuckling show was "The Battle of Buccaneer Bay", a nightly performance geared towards younger audiences. Now, along side Gilley's Bar, famous for their wild bikini bull-riding, you can watch the Sirens lure ill-fated pirates to their doom in a battle for... well, I'm not really sure what for.

"Bloody Pirates!"

The show is prerecorded with dancers and pirates lipsyncing to pop songs written specifically for the performance. The dialogue is also stellar. Who could forget the moment when the scantily clad sirens tie up a young pirate and his comrade cries: "Sir! I see him! He's surrounded by more booty then I've ever seen!" Or how about when the crew shouts "Ahoy!" and Cinnamon, or Cin for short, fires back "Who you callin' a hoy?!"

Well, the adventure might not have turned out as successful as the Hoover Dam trip or the Red Rock hike, but maybe that's part of the adventure itself.

3 Down 49 to Go!

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