Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Weather is Here, "Irish" You Were Beautiful!

Happy St. Patty's Day all! Forgive me for the Pun!

Today I wanted to analyze some Irish Proverbs with you all!

"Nodding your head does not row the boat" --- But it can be used for a signal that "Yes, I do need another beer if you expect me to continue helping"

"The Irish gave the Scots the bagpipes as a joke, but the Scots haven't gotten the joke yet" --- In actuality the Scots got the joke, did not find it funny, and will be playing as loud as they can until they receive an apology. (This was also around the time they began going commando under their kilts, no matter how windy it gets...)

"The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch" --- I shall be relocating to Ireland soon to unveil my newest invention: A Punching bag filled with Whiskey. Brilliant!

"Here's to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet." --- This quote is often misunderstood. It's actually a serious warning diagrammed by the movie Time Cop with Jean Claude Van Damme in which they discuss the theory that a person traveling back in time cannot interact physically with himself or else the same matter occupying the same place will destroy both beings. Therefore, if your wife has mastered time travel, do not allow her to interact with her former self when she was/is your girlfriend.... See?

"God invented whiskey to stop the Irish from taking over the world" --- And the Irish have been building an unmatchable tolerance for decades, so the rest of the world will be unprepared for the coming take over... sort of like the poison fromt the Princess Bride.

"Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more: the friend or the money" --- After you've decided, decide which you need more: new friends or more money.

Ah, as they say in Ireland. Slainte!

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