Hello Sidney.... What's your favorite scary movie...?
...Umm.... not this one.
Welcome back to Rated D for another mildly amusing, utterly subpar movie review!
This past weekend I went to see a movie called "Scream 4". SPOILER ALERT: Sidney, Dewey, and Gale are once again stocked by the Ghostface Killer while a slew of pretty high schoolers and random townspeople get butchered along the way.
When I heard this movie was being made I thought, if any movie franchise can make it's fourth installment pretty good, it's gotta to be this one. Apparently, after the third movie, this film said "I'll be right back!" committing the ultimate horror movie sin and this is the mutilated sequel that was found in the studio lot. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater just to hate. I loved "Scream" and found "Scream 2" to actally be pretty darn good. I didn't care for "Scream 3" all that much (SPOILER for SCREAM 3: The killer had invented a Voice Box Changer that could perfectly imitate anyone's voice... um... sure...), but I had high hopes for this one. After an entertaining litte start, poking fun at endless amounts of sequels and how ridiculous the plots become, the movie reintroduced us to our old friends Gale and Dewey, played by Courtney Cox (Friends, Cougar Town) and David Arquette (Scream 1, Scream 2) who hear that their old friend Sidney, played by Neve Campbell (Party of Five, Wild Things) has returned home, just ten years after the massacre that began it all. They wasted no time introducing fresh faces and an ample selection of possible killers, but once the plot really gets going, they drop the "is the killer lurking around the corner?" or "the only way out is through that terrifying direction" and just begin hacking up people left right, most of the time with the killer apparently running up behind you. What made Scream great was that it broke conventions and did it as realitically as possible. Heck, at the end of the first movie, only 2 characters they tried to kill actually died: the hot best friend and the unfortunate camera man. In this movie, however, it's a series of strange off the cuff lines to act as red herrings and random unexplained appearances mixed with stupid jokes that seem to wink at the audience rather than stick in your brains like the movies that came before it. The ending is ridiculous, funny in all the wrong ways, and only enjoyable if you start replaying the first Scream in your head.... or Dumb and Dumber... who doesn't like Dumb and Dumber?
To Tie It Back to Health and Fitness....
Movies like "Scream" are filled with "red herrings" that deliberately throw the audience in the wrong direction. In the 1800s, criminals and fugitives being chased by bloodhounds would rub red herrings over their bodies to mask their scent and confuse dogs. Speaking of herrings, fish is a great source of protein, iron, and Omega 3 fatty acids. Research has shown that omega-3 fatty acids decrease risk of arrhythmias and decrease trygliceride levels, which can slow growth of plaque and somewhat decrease blood pressure.
"It's sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane." - Emma Roberts as Jill Roberts
Review - I give it 2.5 gallons of fake blood out of 5
Technically Speaking...
Like I said the beginning was kind of fun, but most of the actors in the movie seem to not understand what kind of tone is trying to be achieved. When some actors play it like a hokey comedy movie with semi-suspenseful moments while others play it like a suspenseful movie with some sarcasm, the movie seems unbalanced. Do we care about the characters or are we just waiting for them to get picked off? Also, Wes Craven once used the characters surroundings but this time just seemed content with the killer simply running towards somebody and taking them out or jumping through a window out of nowhere for the umpteenth time. It was a bad sign when Jay and Silent Bob (as their characters) appeared in Scream 3, and though it tried to go back to its roots, it didn't even come close digging deep enough to be considered a good sequel. However, Scream 5 has been greenlit, so I guess... I scream, you scream, we all scream until the movies stop making money.
A List of Fives - This week's List "Fours"
Fourth Movies in a Series - remember these aren't the best, just ones I've seen that fit the category!
1. Lethal Weapon 4 - Hokey and not nearly as gritty as the others (but everyone's on the same page) and the joke pays off when they finally say "I'm getting too old for this sh..." well you know...
2. Alien: Resurrection - Definitely the strangest of the series, but not terrible. A little weird with Sigourney Weaver clones but... then again what movie isn't?
3. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers - After Halloween 3, which literally had nothing to do with the rest of the films, this one slashed its way back to normal.
4. Ernest Scared Stupid - Oh, who knows where Ernest would've gone next, knowhatimea, Verne?
5. Live Free or Die Hard - Yippee ki... yeah we should probably stop now.
Still Haven't Seen It?
Hot Tub Time Machine- Just an all around good time. Not much to think about, just sit back and watch all of the idiots have a good time traveling to the 80s in... ahem... a hot tub.
Next Time on Rated D:
Rio - I have no idea who is in this one but apparently it has something to do with mating birds... and it's a kids movie.... uh... I'll let you know
Gorilla Man
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