Rated D #5 - Rango

Back in the days when they first invented movies, people would dive out of their seats and run for their lives when massive trains would barrel down the tracks directly at the camera or fill the screen with fire and mayhem. Imagine what their reaction would be to a Michael Bay film today...

Hello All! Time to break the Blog Silence with a new edition of Rated D!

This weekend I saw a movie called "Rango". SPOILER ALERT: After finding himself lost in the desert, a lonely house pet lizard with a passion for acting finds himself acting as the town sheriff while trying to help solve the water shortage that is destroying the small community of Dirt, Nevada.

This movie is marketed as a children's movie, but the only thing that really makes it a children's movie is the fact that all of the main characters are animals. It's a bleak "old-tyme" western that pumps in some great animation but also fills it with strangely mature jokes and themes. Don't get me wrong, I found it to be pretty entertaining, but there were so many serious moments and a lot of quick-paced, eloquent dialogue that I couldn't help but wonder how much kids would enjoy this movie. Still there are enough goofy characters and action packed stand-offs that it will keep you interested in the fate of Rango and his townspeople.

To tie back in the fitness...
Take a hint from the little animals of Dirt, NV: Always remember to hydrate. We've all been there! Whether it's a hot summer day or the morning after St. Patty's Day, somehow a tall, cool glass of water just hits the spot. I personally have a Britta filter pitcher and several Nalgene bottles which allows me to always have a bottle of water at a moments notice. Some studies have also shown that when you are hungry for a snack or just can't quit munching, you should drink a glass of cold water and it should help to satisfy that craving.

"No man can walk out on his own story." - Johnny Depp as Rango

Technically Speaking...
Directed by Gore Verbinski, the visual genius behind The Ring and The Pirate of the Carribean trilogy, this movie is definitely a feast for the eyes when it comes to its virtual reality like animation. The Art Direction of the movie keeps the characters and scenery as dirty and dusty as the desert itself which, unfortunately at times, dries out the audience as well. Still, there's a lot of clever jokes being made and some great storytelling from screenwriter John Logan (Gladiator, The Aviator, The Last Samurai). It does, however, fall into the True Grit trap with some chompy accents. Overall, it's a fun little story, but try not to ask yourself where all of the tiny functioning weapons came from and do be on the look out for an animated Johnny Depp from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas cruising through the desert in the beginning of the movie!

Review - I give it 7 seven tiny machine guns out of 10

Still Haven't Seen It...?
Frozen - Every skier/snowboarder has had this thought: What would you do if the chairlift stopped and didn't start again? That's the concept of this independent thriller. Three friends skiing in New England get left on a chairlift with no one in sight, temperatures dropping, and dangling 50 feet in the air. It's an excruciating hour and a half but it taps into a realistic story driven by fears any skier/boarder can relate to. It gets a little carried away with the fates of the characters, but it's a fun little tale for those of you who like psychological thrillers.

With the recent success of Devil (5 people trapped in an elevator), Buried (Ryan Reynolds trapped in a coffin in Afghanistan) and Frozen (3 people trapped on a chairlift), Erika and I began wondering what other movies could be made by trapping people in unlikely places. For Instance:

Slippery - 3 people disobey a lifeguard and wind up stuck in a water slide

Junk in the Trunk - a man changing a tire accidentally gets himself stuck in his own trunk

Skeletons in the Closet - a homophobic man and the flamboyant homosexual hitman sent to kill him get stuck inside a storage closet together.

Let me know of some of your random "stuck together" movie ideas!

Next Time on Rated D -
Battle: Los Angeles or Just Go With It - I'll just write the review and you can guess which one it is I went to see :)

Gorilla Man