Sunday, November 27, 2011

Rated D - The Muppets

LISA SIMPSON: Dad, what's a muppet?

HOMER SIMPSON: Well, it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet, but man (laughs)... So to answer your question, I don't know.

Welcome back to another fun-filled, Turkey stuffed edition of Rated D!

This past Thursday, Erika and I ventured out into the balmy sixty degrees and saw a movie called "The Muppets". SPOILER ALERT: When the now defunct group of Muppets are going to lose their classic theater, a couple of rag-tag go-getters set out to save the day!

Wow. I don't know if its the magic of the holidays or perhaps a turkey induced state of euphoria, but from the moment you begin to hear the songs and voices of those crazy muppets, you just can't help but smile. Jason Segal (How I Met Your Mother, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) is a self-proclaimed "muppet maniac" and decided that there should be another muppet movie. So he did the most rational thing: he wrote one. He also stars in this flick as Gary, brother to the newest edition to the Muppet films, Walter. For his anniversary with his girlfriend, Mary, played by Amy Adams (Enchanted, The Fighter), Gary whisks her away to Los Angeles and invites Walter to come along for the journey. While touring the decaying "Muppet Theatre", Walter overhears the plan of evil oil tycoon, Tex Richman, played by Chris Cooper (American Beauty, The Town), which is to destroy the theater and dig for the newly discovered oil underneath. So the nostaligia and hilarity ensues. With the amount of failed sequels, remakes, and reimaginings out there, you would think this movie could easily fall apart, trample on your memories, or completely miss the mark. Somehow, The Muppets does just the opposite. Each song and dance secretly makes you wish you were a part of that flash mob and each joke strikes a chord in you that keeps you giggling like a little kid all the way into the next one. You have to hand it to the folks who put this one together, they succeeded in kicking off the holiday season with a movie that truly is fun for everyone. The Muppets definitely succeeds in taking your mind off of serious things and weighty issues, transporting you to magical world where for some reason, you instantly accept that humans fraternizing with the muppets (or being one's brother for that matter) is completely and totally normal. It won't leave you with a life-changing message, but maybe the childlike wonder that it instills in you will make you feel like it has. Either way, this is a great opportunity to remember what it was like when you were you ready to play the music, light the lights, and meet the muppets on The Muppet Show tonight.

To Tie It Back to Health & Fitness...
Regular doctor appointments are an important part of maintaining good health. However, if you find the scheduling of appointments and anxiety of doctor's offices to be too much, use The Muppets as a good assessment as to whether or not you need to schedule one immediately. For instance, if you see this movie and don't enjoy yourself, consult a doctor immediately as you are probably dead inside. However, the test is not 100% reliable. For example: if you laugh so hard you pee your pants a little, this may be a normal side effect or the sign of a bladder issue.

"What's more illegal, Kermit: Kidnapping Jack Black or destroying the Muppet name for good?" - Fozzie Bear

Technically Speaking...

If you're looking for some more Muppet entertainment, check out the online marketing campaign they launched over the past year. has a bunch of trailer recuts which feature The Muppets parodizing some popular previews that we've seen over the year. My personal favorite plug for the movie had to be this one, a take on the upcoming The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo:

REVIEW - I give it 4.5 celebrity cameos out of 5

A List of Fives... This Week's List: The Big 3 - 0 ! In honor of Dooley Noted's Self-Appointed Cover Boy

1. 30 Minutes or Less - Two inept schemers strap a bomb to a pizza delivery boy and force him to rob a bank in this unbalanced comedy. Does anybody remember when this actually happened?

2. 30 Days of Night - It's Point Barrow, Alaska where they actually have 30 consecutive days of night. What's the worst that could happen? ...Vampires... yep, that's pretty much the worst... Also, Ben Foster plays a crazy guy.

3. 3:10 to Yuma - A gritty western remake about a broke rancher (Christian Bale) getting a dangerous thief (Russell Crowe) transported to a train while his gang attempts to break him free. Bale and Crowe are solid as per usual and the cinematography is great. Also, Ben Foster plays a crazy guy... weird.

4. 3000 Miles to Graceland - A sociopath (Kevin Costner) who believes he's Elvis's heir tries to outwit his partner (Kurt Russell) whom he double-crossed after a Vegas Casino heist. It sounds like a comedy, right? Nope, just an extreeeeeeemely violent, cheeeeeeeesy action flick.

5. 13 Going on 30 - After making a wish on her wildly embarrassing 13th birthday, Jenna (Jennifer Garner) wakes to find she has fast forwarded 17 years into the future. You can try to avoid this one, but Jennifer Garner will use all of her dork-tastic charm to prevent you from looking away.

*for more movies where Ben Foster plays a crazy guy, check out Hostage, Alpha Dog, and pretty much every other movie he's in.

Still Haven't Seen It?

Super 8 - With films like the new Star Trek and Mission Impossible: III and TV Shows like LOST and Alias, JJ Abrams has rapidly become one of my favorite directors. I have to say, though, I really loved about 75% of this movie but was not a huge fan of the ending. Not to say I hated it, I just wasn't thrilled about it. Still, you might totally enjoy it. After a train derails in a small town, a group of kids in the midst of making a zombie film get caught in the middle of a military cover-up of... something. With JJ Abrams eye for the camera and Steven Spielberg as the producer, it's hard to not enjoy the ride, even if you don't enjoy the whole thing.

Next Time on Rated D:

The Descendents - George Clooney in a Hawaiian shirt... that's about 50% of what I know about the movie.

-Gorilla Man

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