Friday, December 2, 2011

That'll teach me to say "cold out there"...

Good Morning folks,

It is brisk out there baby.  Very cold this morning.  Frost on the windows.  Shiver me timbers, my teeth were chattering... I'll stop everyone right there and answer all questions in one whack

1)yest i know I grew up here
2)yes i know it's going to get worse.
3)yes i know "wait until january!"
4)yes i know i got weak living in Florida
5)yes i know, but we've been so lucky so far...

This wraps up most of the ridiculous comments people make whenever i make innocent small talk with random people standing adjacent to me.  In my efforts to lighten the atmosphere and just open a dialogue, I seem to get a tongue lashing for not "toughing it out in a g-string and a smile"... well here is what I say to that...

Ryan to random patron after one of the 5 responses to the innocuous statement of "good morning... chilly out this morning."

--Ok guy, I know your built ford tough because you're wearing an innapropriately light shirt for this time of year...  And nothing says manly like freezing your *ss off, just because you can appear to not be cold, just ask former president Harrison (who died from pneumonia on his 32nd day in office after delivering the longest innauguration speech on record in freezing temperatures, with no coat, to prove he was a man's man)

But here's the reality... you're amount of time spent in a region relative to other regions has little to nothing to do with one's ability to tolerate temperature.  Hot is hot, cold is cold.  You know why water changes form... because the temperature exceeds boiling or freezing.  So if it is less than 32 degrees outside, it doesn't matter if its a "wet cold" or a "dry cold" or if you've lived in a walk in freezer you're entire life... it is freaking cold.  Just because you are used to it, doesn't change the status of the weather.   Same thing with the heat my southern friends.  Dry hot, humid hot... freaking 100 degrees is hot, and if you disagree then don't hold your breath on that whole "The south will rise again" thing...  We'll just wait for you all to fall out due to heat stroke.

Whew, I feel better,  and it is a bit nippy out there.

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