Monday, January 23, 2012

Rated D - Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

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Welcome Back to another Impossibly difficult to enjoy edition of Rated D!

A couple of weeks ago, Erika and I went to see probably the best action movie of the year, "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol". SPOILER ALERT: Ethan Hunt has to once again keep it interesting that he's... probably not a rogue agent... in the fourth installment of this quad...rillogy that turns out to be freaking awesome!

I may be one of the few people who believes that a movie can't be good when its in its... ahem... the fourth installment, but apparently I'd be mistaken because this movie rocked! Ethan Hunt, played by Tom Cruise (Nothing noteworthy), is back again, this time being busted out of a Russian prison to help stop a nuclear physicist, megalomaniac from desytroying the world via equallized nuclear war. After the Kremlin is bombed amidst a covert op led by Hunt and his team, they must either find the culprit or else face disavowment from the CIA or face the wrath of the Russian government seeking retaliation from an "obvious and apparent" attack from the United States. Tom Cruise might be crazy. Tom Cruise might have humiliated himself on national television. Tom Cruise might be the butt of ohhhh so many jokes about Katie Holmes, Closet Homosexuality, and Scientology... Tom Cruise... wait... where was I...? Oh, that's right... Tom Cruise is an awesome actor and never makes bad movies... and this one is no exception. Yeah, that's right. Aside from MI:2, these movies have never disappointed me. With hilarious comedic appearances by Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Run, Fat Boy, Run) and a committed, pensive I'll-Probably-Replace-You-When-You-Get-Tired-Of-This performance from Jeremy Renner (Swat, The Tooooooooooooooown... yes it should be sung in an operatic way), this film succeeds not only on a character level but also an action packed, clever heist level thanks to director Brad Bird (The Incredibles, Rataouille). Bird comes from a Disney Pixar place which he apparently does not let stand in his way when it comes to shooting amazing action sequences which is what this entire film benefits from. The story isn't all that enthralling which as I mentioned in the last Rated D is pretty common... set the world at war so the one anticipating it will be the one who profits... (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows). But still, the action sequences filled with crazy "have-the-military-really-invented-that-and-if-not-why-not?" gadgets and the way they commit and factor character emotion into the storyline are fantastic. Go see this one but as much as you are ready for some overacted spy-versus-spy plot lines, be ready for some butterfly, cringe inducing stunt moments because oooooh buddy are they amazing!
To Tie It Back to Health & Fitness...

A couple of main action pieces in this movie revolve around cars sparing their drivers vis-a-vis air bag deployments. Air Bags are safety devices that prevent a driver from colliding with the steering wheel or being subjected to other injuries. Some injuries come from the chemicals that are necessary in having the airbag deploy at the speeds that are necessary to prevent injury therefore its important to abide by and adhere to the rules of airbag usage. Right? I'm right aren't I Right?

"You didn't really say that, did you? Mission accomplished?" - Ving Rames as Luther Stickell

Technically Speaking...

If you want to enjoy the movie, you better be prepared to enjoy the technilogical items and tools that have been "invented" (which is to say that I have not heard of them yet). Therefore, I must also admit that while meeting with an international terrorist is just as convenient as having an awesome sandstorm suddenly occur to allow an amazingly claustrophobic chase scene to ensue.
REVIEW - 4.5 out of 5 You're Climbing A SkyScraper Holy Crap!

A List of Fives...

SkyScrapers!

Movies That Take Place in a Tall Building

1. World Trade Center - I was suprised they were making this movie, but sadly to say that wasn't why I didn't care for this movie. I didn't care for it because it was merely so so when it should have been great. If you want a little bit of a good movie that never quite lives up to its potential, rent it. Zinga...?

2. Home Alone 2: Lost In New York - "We did it again!" Kevin winds up this time at the Plaza Hotel where he... well he pretty much does the same thing he did in the first movie... um.. against the same bad guys from the first movie... still, are you gonna stand there owning a fireworks stand and tell me you don't like Home Alone 2? After all, it's not Home Alone 3....

3. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - I liked the first one and I've still never completely seen Return of the King even though its apparently the best... what with its seven endings and all... but still I really love the awesome battle scenes in the Empire Strikes Back of the Middle Earth movies.

4. Die Hard - If you think of movies that take place in a tall movie and you don't think of this one then shame on you. This 'John MacClane saves the kidnappees of the Nakatomi Tower' is the best thing in the world... and not just referring to action films...

5. Sleepless in Seatle - Say what you want to say, but if you don't like Tom and Meg doing their thing in this great RomCom than you need to take a long look in the mirror. This script is terrific even if our romantic leads don't see each other until the very end. Fun Moment: Look for Ted in How I Met Your Mother acting out the final scene in the episode where Marshall gets Robbed By A Monkey.

Still Haven't Seen It? -

X-Men: First Class - Unfortunately the X-Men movies were going amazingly well until the producers said "No Bryan Singer... You're not allowed to also direct the 'Superman Returns' movie... which was awesome... and direct the final installment to the trillogy you so amazingly crafted. Also, sadly, this movie also suckered (yeah... it's kind of like sucking while suffering) from being crappily made... even with James MacAvoy (Wanted, The Last King of Scotland) and Michael Fassbender (300, Inglorious Basterds), itself from the suckiness of a bad script and crappy acting from January Jones and, suprisingly, from Jennifer Lawrence. I know, right?



Next Time on Rated D -


Warhorse - I'm sure I'll sneak out to see it even though Erika refuses due to her empathy towards horses at war... yep... just said that...


-Gorilla Man

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