Tuesday, February 24, 2015

PR... WOD... and a rant about Home Depot... oh ya.

Sup Sup...

It's Tuesday and oh brother what a day....  So... yesterday wrapped up nicely.  I was feeling like crap and wanted to eat something tasty but bad for me.  I came to the negotiation table with this... devil ryan on my left shoulder can order dinner if we get a work out in.  Angel ryan on my right shoulder gets healthy food if we are going to sit around like the sloth that we truly are deep down....

Devil ryan won.  Hit the box for a PR on the front squat.  295 lbs... very respectable in my book.  I think I could've even gone a little more, but I am still a little banged up from Sunday's WODs.  Then our boy Eddie Kettlebell, set the bar high with a time of 6:02 Rx (53 lbs kettlebells/ push ups - sequence 30/5, 20/10, 10/20, 5/30)....  I may or may not have talked a little smack before eddie left to go do whatever is a young mocha skinned man does on a Monday...

I went hard in the WOD and seriously tried to beat his time.. but son of a biscuit (that's funny because it's the name of the WOD) if Eddie didn't beat me by a minute.  Credit where credit is due... but still i'm still better looking so deal with that eddie....

Wrapped up and prize for the night was a small buffalo chicken pizza... not exactly diet friendly... but oh my god.... it's what jesus would have had at the last supper if Holbrook House of Pizza was in Jerusalem.... They barely deliver to S. Weymouth... so, sorry jesus.

Then comes Tuesday... unfortunately the sheets of ice claimed another victim this morning.  The old Surgeon General had a misstep that left her sprawling in the drive way.  I promptely hopped to, and headed out to get some salt for the drive way and our paths. 

This is where the wheels come off the bus... I took a jaunt down to old "Home Depot"... or as I like to call it... "Condescension interchange".  There are few places on earth that you can run across someone that may or may not be able to tie their own shoes, but feel completely confident in mocking your lack of knowledge in a very specific area. 

As I approached the cluster of 6 elderly people bitterly complaining about the fact that some guy returned a tool of some sort... (irony abound since they were standing under a sign that said customer service) 5 of them scattered like someone yelled free "Winstons" here.  The one surly bugger left put his hands on his hips... the international sign for "anything you ask me will seem stupid to me"... and addressed me with "yes?".

Starters.... bro... you wear tiny orange apron to work... so, don't break a hip as you climb off that high horse.... secondly... since i'm clearly here to further your financial stability by investing my hard earned dollars into this particular capitalist venture.... how about a "good morning" or just "morning"... either would work. 

I inquired about where I could get some salt for the driveway, and he laughed out loud and said... "ya we're out."  I say, "Oh that sucks, how about sand." To which he replied with a smirk, "no, but I don't know why you would want that.  It doesn't help deteriorate the ice, just covers up the problem.  You need salt.  Why would you use sand?"

I chose this moment to say.  "Ok, thanks" and promptly walk away before offering the thought of ::deep breath::  "I don't know where you get off talking down to me, when I'm clearly here looking for assistance.  If you asked me for help in my job, I wouldn't look down on you for not understanding financial and tax implications caused by the use of varying inco-terms.  No, I would offer you assistance or direct you to someone who can.  Yes you have the market cornered on knowledge about homegoods, but it'll be someone from my side of the world that comes up with the kiosk that will one day replace your wrinkled ass... A small computerized stand that I can come into and have an interactive experience with perky digital prompts on inventory and what I might need for home projects.  You are not a special snowflake, you are an elderly person highered under some tax code, that provides home depot with a monetary benefit... cuz trust me the internet knows more than you... by the way.... Good morning"....

But... alas... I just walked to my car and left the carriage I was pushing in the most inconvenient snow bank I could find... and went to lowe's... great people at lowe's... so... ya know... go to lowe's.

love ya, bye bye.

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